


chapter 387

by tob2os



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Comfort, Established Relationship, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, basically im hearbroken at chapter 387 and im coping, chapter 387 comfort fic, referenced for his grandfathers passing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:35:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23261818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tob2os/pseuds/tob2os
Summary: "kageyama tells hinata about his grandfather in their third year."short comfort drabble with established kagehina to soothe my tobio stan heart after chapter 387. kageyama doesn't cry after the funeral in the flashback, so here i am to deliver the long overdue, necessary breaking of the dam years after the passing, in the arms of the best person possible for him :')
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Comments: 14
Kudos: 234





	chapter 387

kageyama tells hinata about his grandfather in their third year. 

he's watched hinata grow from the little flailing bird in middle school to now his irreplaceable partner, the other half of their infamous “freak duo”, renowned nationally. more than that, he's watched hinata go from a strange, undefinable entity on the other side of the net, to the boy who's cemented himself by his side, both on the court and off.

kageyama is much more observant of a person than he may seem, especially since they’ve started dating. he's seen hinata struggle with letting go of an idealized version of himself, growing into his true unique strengths and identity as a player. he's seen hinata give countless hours to the gym (himself by his side more often than not), he's personally heard the breathless pants jump after jump, he's seen hinata stare right into his eyes and never flinch away. he's never doubted that they'd stand side by side, and pride had grown in his chest at every milestone hinata had reached: from the day he'd unflinchingly told him he'd played ball boy, to the the moment hinata had made his first successful receive during a game, to the moment when hinata announced he was traveling to the other side of the world, to a foreign country with a foreign language, all to improve and stand on the same stage as him.

but more than anything, hinata has also seen kageyama. there's been numerous occasions when during a pointless session of bickering, hinata's taken a pause just a bit too long, been just a little too late to respond, and kageyama has never been more afraid in his life that he’s finally done it, pushed too far and it feels like all the shadows of his past have resurged; hes bracing himself for the constant numbness of loneliness to return, dullness interrupted occasionally with the stabbing pin-prick pains of longing, the inevitable emptiness by his side yet again. but hinata has always yanked him out of it, whether it be with a sputtering cough alerting him that the lack of response was in fact due to a choking flurry, or a frumpy pout blooming on his face with just the right amount of fondness to let him know there were no bad feelings.

this time, hinata smacks him in the face with his stupid dirty towel, announcing that he’s just remembered that he forgot his keys in the club room and didn't hear what kageyama had said, could he repeat it?

and honestly, kageyama doesn’t remember, and couldn't recall if he tried, the overwhelming wave of relief occupying any cognitive function he has going on right now, wanting to escape in the form of the biggest sigh. it must've shown on his face, because hinata's expression quickly morphs from teasing to concerned, his smirk replaced with a “hey, are you okay?”

and kageyama wants to say he’s more than okay, actually, but it’s impossible for hinata to really understand with him just saying, “im okay”. it’s impossible for hinata to really get how okay he is now, because the one person who’d seen him before has been gone for a while now, the one person who’d made him feel safe and supported and taught him everything he knew about himself had left him, years ago. and with his passing had come the all-encompassing darkness of loneliness that he didn't even realize had overtaken him until he saw the light. or more accurately, that light had weaseled its way to his side, darting past anything he threw at him, curling into him until he'd relented.

it had pushed back at him no matter how much he pushed, refused to go out no matter how hard he'd blown, refused to leave his side even though he’d convinced himself long ago it was only darkness that suited his company, that nobody would see him in the shadows of his own isolation and hurt. but that light had appeared four years ago and hadn't left since, not his side nor his heart. 

that light reminded him what it's like to be warm again, and the corners of his darkness slowly fluttered away, curling in like pages of paper on a flame, reminded him again what’s it like to be seen, to be accepted, to be loved. 

it's impossible for hinata to really get how okay he's made kageyama, not with an "i'm okay.", but kageyama wants him to know, wants to tell him. he’s never known how to verbalize for others, so he just blurts it out, a “you remind me of my grandfather.”

the words hang in the air, and he can tell hinata doesn’t quite know how to respond. he can practically see the wheels turning in hinata’s head with internal conflict in the prospect of his response: a teasing “well i am 6 months older than you, i guess?” versus a slightly more cautious “what?” (cautious, not eloquent). something keeps him quiet, apparent in him a rare sense of awareness surrounding this particular subject matter. kageyama could cry, honestly, at the blatant consideration. and to his horror, paying no mind to his lack of consent at all, that becomes a reality, eyes spilling over, but it’s not his own tears he senses first: it’s the drastic change of face hinata goes through, expression going from slightly concerned and cautious to full blown alarm and panic, hints of a poor attempt at masking said panic sprinkled in here and there. it’s amusing, honestly, so he laughs.

but it comes out a cross between a snort and a sob, and at the sound, hinata rushes forward. hinata’s never really been a wordsmith, but his embrace needs no words. there’s a sense of urgency in the way his arms wrap around his shoulders, fingers gripping tightly at kageyama’s jacket, such intensity in his hold that makes it seem almost like he’s the one thats crying, not kageyama. his body firm and pressed against kageyama, he stands, unmoving. and kageyama’s shoulders shake, attempts to quiet his sobs going out the window as soon as the warmth of his boyfriends arms envelop him, and somewhere deep inside, a part of him is relieved, relieved that this dam has finally broken. he didn't cry back then; the numbness that swallowed him the second he'd gotten the phone call had cut off access to this sadness, leaving him thirteen years old and grieving in silence. he’d be lying if he said it didn’t eat him up inside sometimes, the guilt at his apparent inability to show grief; at night, he’d lie awake, scaring himself with hypothetical scenarios of the dam finally breaking with no notice: maybe it would be in the middle of a math lesson, or during his serve practice, or on his walk home. 

and he realized, in all the hypothetical scenarios of this moment, he’d been alone. 

but it was here now, and he was not alone but in the arms of a boy who'd changed everything for him. here he was, soft orange hair tickling his nape, voice softly shushing at his ear, arms squeezing around him so tight as if he was trying to hug all the sadness out of him. it’s been a long time coming, this breaking of his silence, and when hinata reaches upwards to slowly pull kageyama away from his shoulder, pressing his palm against his wet cheek, there's no trace of the earlier confusion and panic left on his face. instead, a soft smile dances on his lips, eyes fierce with understanding, and kageyama knows that somehow, hinata is seeing him, he who hasn't been seen, not for a long while. and it’s taken no words from him at all, not for hinata.

hinata strokes his thumb softly over his cheekbone, and he feels the touch in his heart: triggering the ache of release, one of a long overdue grief, one simultaneous with overflowing relief, love, and gratefulness.

the pages of his darkness glow bright orange as hinata opens his mouth and tells him, “i know, kageyama. don’t worry anymore.”

**Author's Note:**

> yes this was originally made to be a twitter thread yes i realized it was way too long yes i posted it to twitter anyways. it's unedited im sorry for any verb tense mistakes i may have made


End file.
